Comics - Anime Weekend Atlanta 2018 - page 9 - November 29th, 2018, 3:38 pm

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I was so distressed that it broke the spellcheck
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Author Comments:

Blitzkrieg1701, November 29th, 2018, 3:57 pm

I thought long and hard about whether or not to actually include this comic, because I know mental health is no laughing matter for a lot of people... but that's all the more reason why I need to include it, because I really, dangerously cracked up Thursday night. I was severely stressed, sleep-deprived, over-heated, and all three of those were feeding into each other. I was too tired to rationally deal with the stress, too over-heated and dehydrated to actually fall asleep, actually getting that much hotter and sweater from my heart racing due to the stress and... well... I had a nervous breakdown.

Like, for real. That picture up there isn't an exaggeration for comedic effect. I was literally, actually, for real in a state of trembling, teary-eyed panic all night. I was just GONE. I was irrationally afraid of everything, I felt like I was having a heart attack, and I totally lost my grip on reality. If it weren't for the lingering fear getting in trouble for leaving early, I ABSOLUTELY believe I would have tried to bail on the whole con and drive back to Raleigh that very night... and most likely have died in a ditch somewhere in South Carolina after passing out at the wheel. So let's all be glad my fear of being yelled at trumps even my all-consuming emotional breakdowns, eh?

Thankfully, by around 4 or 5am, things had cooled down enough for me to finally nod off for a few hours, and getting some real sleep allowed me to calm down enough to hold it together the rest of the weekend. But I cannot stress strongly enough what a miserable experience that night was. At the risk of spoiling later pages, it's the whole reason this update has taken as long as it has: revisiting this material has so much emotional baggage attached to it, I got REALLY good at find other things to be doing.

And here's the scariest part: Generally speaking, I'm one of the SANE ones. I mean, that's a weird thing to say, but let's be honest. The average congoer is a shrieking dumpster fire; a festering drama vortex of complexes and neuroses, just barely holding themselves together amid a constant deluge of noise and over-stimulation, just one minor inconvenience away from a total meltdown, complete with vague self-pitying twitter rants. That got more mean-spirited than I'd intended by the end, but you KNOW somebody immediately came to mind as you read it. We all know that one person, even if we're usually too polite to publicly confirm it. But here's the thing: that's what they're like WITH a roof over their heads and a real bed to sleep in and something resembling a decent amount of rest to keep them calmed down. Imagine that same person WITHOUT that basic safety net.

And the thing is, we're ALL that person under sufficiently bad circumstances. Those conditions I was in Thursday night would make just about anybody crack, but dumping it on top of somebody who's ALREADY dealing with a lot of stuff? That's just plain dangerous. That's why it's so important for us all to do our best to take care of ourselves. There's a lot more at risk in a situation like this than just not being able to wash your hair regularly. Just... don't take chances with yourselves, okay? You being okay is INFINITELY more important than you being able to attend some convention somewhere, so don't sacrifice the former to achieve the latter. It ain't worth it.

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